21!

today, i'm 21.

another year has gone.

and i got another year to face.

time flies.

i still remember those days when Papa was still around.

he fetched me to school, took me to Toys R Us, and bought me lots and lots of toys.

i still remember the time i didn't even know how to comb my hair. luckily i got Mama to be on my side.

i still remember those unforgettable childhood moments. 

that wonderful time of life when all u need to do to lose weight is to take a bath.

i learned a lot of priceless life lessons along the way.

people will come and leave. no one will stay forever.

everyone of us is living their own path of life.

our paths intersect at one point, and we meet each other.

there will come one time when we have reached the end of the intersection.

and all we need to do is just move on.

and keep moving forward.

till we meet again at the next intersection. if there is any.

i learned that by holding on too tight, we tend to lose the things we are hoping for.

u got dreams. i got dreams. we all got our own dreams to pursue.

but sometimes having dreams alone is just not enough.

u got to believe.

that is the only force that will drive u forward regardless of the obstacles in front of u.

when it seems that world is not on ur side, and everything doesn't look right.

u just got to believe that one fine day, everything will be alright. 

and u will look back at those awful moments.

and realized how strong u have been.

i learned those magical moments will come when we least expected them. 

being humans, we are always busy making plans.

we try to figure out how our life should be, and which is the best path for us.

we always being haunted by our past.

the fact that people will judge us scares us a lot.

we are too busy looking back at our past, looking too ahead of time.

till we forget to enjoy what we are now, what we have with us.

and we are so sad when we realized the things that meant a lot to us has gone.

and they will never come back.

i'm not living in fairytales.

my life stories are far from perfection.

they got a lot of flaws.

countless.

but if i'm given a chance to change any part of the stories,

i won't change anything.

cause those flaws are the one that makes me grow stronger.

and shape me to be who i am now.

the one standing in front of u.

alhamdulliah.

i'm thankful for all the blessings He gives me.

i don't know where the path gonna take me.

and where my final destination will be.

i just got to believe.

there is happy ending for me at the end of the journey.

if it's not happy, then it's not the end. yet.

happy birthday me!

birthday boy,

fairytales don't always have happy endings.

ohh. i have totally forgotten the existence of this blog 

until my officemates stole some pics from the site and paste in on office messenger. haha.

how's life been treating me?

a tough question. as usual.

but in short, i can say it's getting better.

at least i can smile now. and even laugh.

and lunch hour is extended to two hours most of the time.

is it a good sign? nahhh. who cares? we have flexible working hours what? :P

and yeah. i'm done with the first three months of my internship. 

how awesome it is if i could change the sentence to " i'm done with my three months internship."

four interns are leaving next week. they are counting their days.

Kin Yau, Tasha, Wei Wei, Ting Yu.

if i were u guys, for sure sekarang aku sedang melompat kegirangan. haha.

but the truth is my internship it's not even half way.

-__-'

28 weeks seem to be so loooooooooooooong.

but time moves pretty fast.

pejam celik pejam celik da 3 bulan.

right?

*ayat nak pujuk diri sendiri*

old interns are leaving soon. and new interns coming in.

say hello to Maula, Hann, Marsha, Rozanne, and Tiffany.

they are December interns.

nice meeting them. they're all awesome people.

i just realized adding ur officemates to ur facebook friend list isn't that bad.

at least u put the effort to get to know them better.

so i've  changed my 'add them only after they left IBM' policy to a new policy called 'add them as u like'.

whatever u say. whatever u call it, Kam. :P

okay. time to get back to work.

so many pending internship weekly report to be done.

time to test my memory.

lets try to remember what i did for the past 8 weeks.

not an easy job. 

wish me luck!

toodles!

secret santa xmas party. december 16. plaza ibm.

" fairytales don't always have happy endings. "

smile. smile. smile. (:

m.o.m.e.n.t

The moment Deva turned twenty

Village 5 Cafe, UTP

The moment we had awesome vacation with awesome people, leaving awesome memories.

Singapore.

The moment we played around with the books.

Pocket D, UTP

The moment we cracked our heads to solve those biz problems! Rocketeer rocks the world!

Uni of Nottingham Malaysia Campus

The moment i played around with the kids!

Chancellor Complex, UTP

 The moment we had our last dinner together before we started the whole brand new journey

Heritage Hotel, Ipoh

 The moment we decided to go to Ipoh to look for cheap Ramadan buffet, and we ended up eating sampai perut nak meletup

Syuen Hotel, Ipoh

 The moment we felt campus is kinda stressful, and all we need is just an escape from all those pending projects, assignments, and discussions

Jusco, Ipoh

 The moment the light turned red at the junction and we decided to snap a pitcha!

Somewhere over the rainbow.

 The moment i wish i could have new adek

Village 3, UTP

 The moment we escaped Dr Halabi's DCN class, went 360 km away from Tronoh and we are busted

Melawati, KL

 The moment childhood melodies play around in my head

Taman Metropolitan, Kepong

The moment ur buddy decided to go far far away and pursue her dreams
Damansara, KL.

 The moment we snapped a pitcha with superman

Masjid An Nur, UTP

The moment we decided to have fresh seafood for dinner before we pack things up and went back home

Lumut, Perak

The moment we had nice conversation + picnic after the semester ended

Tasik, UTP

The moment we walked all the way from hostel to the lake, just to kill time.

Masjid An Nur, UTP

i miss all those moments.

someday they'll come back, waiting for me at the door.

and all i have to do is just hold them tight.

Photo credits: Izyan Izzati Halim, Syahril Anas Husin, Haziq Hilman

i'll be here. waiting.

magical melodies

life is like a flute.

it may have many

holes

and

emptiness

but if u work on it carefully

it can play

magical

melodies.

remember the small things. 'cause it could mean something.

it's getting better. :)

it has been four weeks now.

and i've received my first pay last tuesday. a day before diwali holidays.

weeeehooo!

the feeling of earning money on my own is sooooo hard to describe.

of course it is an awesome one!

but that is only one part of the story.

how's work?

it's getting better for myself i guess.

went to cyberjaya for a team meeting last thursday, and realized ppl in my team are super awesome.

they do have life, they do have feelings.

they do work with heart.

not as what i thought before during my early days.

ya. my bad. judging them too early. the same typical mistake again. :P

helping IBM in recruiting new talents makes me realize how lucky we are to have jobs.

seeing so many people being rejected for various reasons every single day, it's kinda sad.

everyday im doing more than my office jobs. i learn valuable life lessons. 

it teaches me to be thankful for who im now, for everything and everyone i have around me.

listening to various stories everyday inspires me. what the job candidates expect from the new job offerings, their dreams. and hope.

yup. i know everybody is still struggling to fit in the new environment now.

but i believe this transition period gonna end very soon.

we are getting used to it, and once it turns up to be a normal routine, 

we'll go thru everything with ease. insyaAllah.

no matter how hard the challenge u have in front of u, no matter what are the obstacles ahead.

just hanging there. stay strong. and pray.

because we are not gonna go thru it alone. and there is always a greater power that is far above all this.

wishing u all the best.

enjoy life wherever it takes u. :)

sometimes when we are apart, it makes our hearts grow stronger. each step of the way. :')

i just wanna be happy. as what i used to be.

how's life?

nothing much. nothing interesting at the moment.

internship started last week.

and being in this transition period is not fun. full stop.

trying to adapt totally new environment, with totally different people.

it's not easy. especially when u are going thru it all by urself. alone.

i am not sure is it me, or the internship, or this transition period that turn me to be not as happy as i were before. 

every morning i wake up not as the usual, happy me.

i am totally different now.

there is nothing i am looking forward to.

there is nothing i can get excited about.

everything is so plain. lifeless.

everyday, i am busy fulfilling other's expectation.

there's no passion. there's no soul.

i miss the old me.

i miss happy me. 

i miss those good old time when i woke up in the morning, and feel awesome.

taken from here

missing me

6 more days. and counting.

today is tuesday.

tomorrow is wednesday.

the day after tomorrow is thursday.

then friday will come.

followed by another weekend.

then it's gonna be a brand new week. start of brand new fun and adventure! 

*hopefully*

it's time to work.

seven months internship begins!

excited? 

yes.

nervous?

of course!

expectation?

i pray IBM will bring me to Europe for any field trip, conference, or biz meeting. woohoo!

*okey. ini mengarut. jangan layan*

thanks Accenture, Intel, PwC, PCSB, Petronas Chemicals, PERMATA, and others for the offers.

thanks Mercedes GP Petronas F1 Team, UK for giving me the opportunity to be shortlisted for the interview.

it seems like God has better plan for me. here.

maybe it is not the time yet for me to go abroad. 

i'll be there. someday. when the time is right.

insyaAllah.

i learned a lot during that critical period. 

the period when i dont even know where i stand.

the period when i dont even know where i can hold on to.

sometimes getting good result and making it through the interview are just not enough.

when u have a lot of pressures, uncertainties around u,

only ur dream will drive u forward.

making u believe that u gonna go through everything no matter what are the obstacles ahead of u.

it's my own mistakes. and i feel sorry for not being that strong. 

i learned my lesson.

and it is really a precious one.

i'm the one who decided to take part in the game.

and unfortunately i lost.

it's time to move on.

no more regrets. no more tears.

'cause life's too short to wake up in the morning with regrets.

lets move forward!

and create another miracle.

may God always be by my side.

'cause i can never do it alone.

moving on